45 REASONS WHY I LOVE MY DAD

It’s Indomie (noodles) that has the sound track for one of their Promos as “Indomie, like no other” and they are the ones who also own the trademark “Mom like no other”.  Well, I decided to bring up this piece as “Father, Like No Other.”

It’s interesting to note that many of the song writers, singers, musicians, authors, writers and poets, including script writers always, when telling beautiful stories about their/a parent, write mainly about moms.

We live in a world where we rarely hear people talk about their dad or praise him in public.  All the accolades always seem to go to mom.  Is it that there are no good fathers and men who are worthy of praise?  I do not think so.

I will soon be a father and I am preparing for the adventure.  So I have been focusing on what makes men good dads and bad dads.  I do understand that being a man is different from being a husband and different from being a great dad.  And I also understand that being an awesome husband and dad isn’t just instinctive, but deliberate and intentional.

In my quest to find good men to role model after, I realized that my dad, and my ancestors – my paternal and maternal grand dads were not in any way off line. People always wonder why I get to always talk a lot about my dad and do so with so much admiration.  Well, follow me as I tell you some not-so-plenty reasons why I like my dad.

Yeah, I used a hashtag “#iCelebrateMyDadBecause” on Father’s Day, 2017 to share some things on twitter (@AlrightsPassion) on why I was celebrating my dad. Here are some of what I shared then with some new ones.

  1. I Celebrate My Dad Because he gave me the name “Alright” and doesn’t worry about my adopted “Earl”.
  2. I Celebrate My Dad Because he never trades his family for the church over which he is the Chairman of the Board of Trustees.
  3. I Celebrate My Dad Because he never has had any adultery scandal or rumour. Dad was a Civil Servant who worked as a teacher in an all-girls secondary school for about 30 years.  And he is also a pastor.  In all these years of service, not once did we hear or smell anything close to adultery or cheating on his part (on mom).  I find that very high moral and sexual bar, a standard that his descendants must not joke with.
  4. I Celebrate My Dad Because he was the first client to ever pay me extra for services rendered. I charged him N120,000.00 and he paid N150,000.00.  That action boosted my confidence and self-worth to charge well for services.  
  5. I Celebrate My Dad Because I grew up with plenty bedtime stories/folklore. All my ethnic folklore and many of the proverbial songs I know were taught me by him.
  6. I Celebrate My Dad Because he never yelled on my mother. Did they ever have verbal arguments?  Yes, but we never felt unsafe or threatened during their misunderstandings.  In fact, the moment they started talking back at each other, they would go into their room and come out as daddy and mummy once again.
  7. I Celebrate My Dad Because he made it clear that mom was more important than us, their kids. I remember clearly the day we had this fight with mom, and dad took all of us into their bedroom, made us sit on the floor and said, “Children are blessings from God to a couple and the couple can choose to reject or refuse a blessing. You are blessings to us, not equal to us and we can reject you people”.
  8. I Celebrate My Dad Because he told us he never wanted to depend on our income; we should live our lives. Interestingly, dad always wants to be a blessing to us financially. I had to fight him over it some months back. Dad would never call to ask you for money or what you would use money to buy for him, but once in a while, you will realize that you received an alert of a bank credit from him.  
  9. I Celebrate My Dad Because he taught me the basics of romantic relationships from the way he related with my mom, his sisters and other people.  
  10. I Celebrate My Dad Because he never traded our education for anything. He would never forgo our fees and dues for something else.  I still remember him telling mom that he couldn’t pay for the thing (which was very important to the family) because he was yet to pay my brother’s tuition fee.
  11. I Celebrate My Dad Because he gave me the freedom of worship in any church that I like even when he has his ministry. This gave me the opportunity to compare notes and teachings and doctrines and make the best informed religious decisions for myself.
  12. I Celebrate My Dad Because he believes in inter-tribal and inter-racial marriages. Yes, he may have some concerns about the tendencies of some ethnic groups, it is however not a limitation for his kids.
  13. I Celebrate My Dad Because even till today, he cooks and does the dishes. In our house, there is no chore known to be for or assigned to females.  We always look forward to daddy’s pepper soup, ogbono and egusi during festivities like Christmas and the like.
  14. I Celebrate My Dad Because although we grew up in the village, he exposed us to foreign books and magazines and this broadened our mindsets and outlook on life.  
  15. I Celebrate My Dad Because he allowed us attends conferences and camps too many to number. Till I graduated, I may have missed only 3 S.U. Student’s long vacation camps.  I attended other camps that I cannot remember and in them, I learned inter-socio-cultural skills among the other people skills.  I also learned perseverance, adaptability and other life skills.
  16. I Celebrate My Dad Because he allowed us to receive female visitors and use his phone to call female friends too. We were never scared to allow female friends visit us in the house and so, we didn’t need to hide people in our circles from our parents. There were days that my friends would visit and I wouldn’t be home and my dad would prepare lunch for them.
  17. I Celebrate My Dad Because he didn’t mind picking my MTN mid-night calls and talking the hours. Who wouldn’t love that, that you could call your dad from school and gist for as long as you wanted without spending One Naira?
  18. I Celebrate My Dad Because he allowed me put a girl’s picture in our parlour and believed I never kissed her. Victoria, nee Ebhodaghe and I were that close and interestingly, it was purely platonic as we were never romantic with each other. And dad believed. That was too surprising for people to believe.
  19. I Celebrate My Dad Because he travelled to visit my bae even when he had never met her before. Who does that? Well, my dad. Hahaha.  Many factors made it impossible for my fiancée to visit my family before the Introduction, although she lives in Nigeria.  However, my dad and she were in harmonious phone relationship and talked often.  Although he had never met her in person or had a video call with her he still agreed and did travel over from Edo to Makurdi in the company of two of my uncles for our introduction.  So I didn’t have to bring bae home, dad moved to meet with bae in her
  20. I Celebrate My Dad Because he separated faith from religion for us. Sometimes, I say this is the part I do not like about that.  There are many things I wished he would speak against in public, things about our faith.  But he wouldn’t.  He was once an S.U president but he raised us to know the difference between the Christian Faith and the Christian Religion and also Church Doctrines.  So, I have never had misconceptions about religious and doctrinal beliefs.
  21. I Celebrate My Dad Because he never made a statement which we later discovered was a lie. My dad was that terrible – he would never make you a promise he didn’t want to keep, no matter the pressure you placed on him.  And he would rather not answer you or talk about the issue just to please your ears.
  22. I Celebrate My Dad Because he listened to my wish about boarding house and about campus hostel. Yes    My mom really wanted us to have some boarding house experience but I was not willing to starve for anything or be subject to all those hostel wahala.  Dad agreed with me.  When I got into Campus, he wanted me to stay off-camp and promised to furnish the apartment wella for me.  When I declined the offer, he accepted it.  He did not try to force it on me.
  23. I Celebrate My Dad Because he allowed me study Law even though he didn’t buy into it at first. Dad had rather preferred I became an administrator than become a lawyer. However, when he realized that law was what I wanted to study, he allowed me be.
  24. I Celebrate My Dad Because despite the connections, he allowed me to serve in Benue and stay back. I felt I had used connections a lot to get things.  Dad had connections and influence because he was a teacher and a pastor.  He had either taught you, your wife, your daughter or somebody closed to you. Or, he pastors you or someone close. So we had a level of connection above the average. However, when it came to my NYSC, I just didn’t want to use any extra influence.  I just wanted to go wherever I believed God was taking me to through the NYSC programme.  Interestingly, he must have taken me there for it was during my NYSC that I met my woman, my mentor and many awesome ministry partners that I have today. NYSC still stands as my most amazing and most significant experience all my life.
  25. I Celebrate My Dad Because he never rejected mom’s food no matter how bad the meal was. They always worked it out.  He did complain if there were anomalies, but he never rejected the food.  I learned from him that no matter what, even if you and your wife are fighting, never reject her food.
  26. I Celebrate My Dad Because he never left my mom in the room to sleep elsewhere. This happens to be one of the first rules in my marriage – nothing should ever warrant us sleeping in separate rooms.
  27. I Celebrate My Dad Because he mourned my mom for 4 years before agreeing to remarry. We had to even convince him to remarry.  He was too close to Bodicia that we worried if he would ever agree to remarry.  When he did, we were and are still happy for and with him.
  28. I Celebrate My Dad Because he has never called to ask for money or recharge card. Maybe it’s ego sha. But I like it.  This attitude gives us the freedom and liberty to be free in being a blessing to him.  I know people who their parents put the burden of raising their younger ones on them and also place them on monthly allowances.  So I do not take this lightly.
  29. I Celebrate My Dad Because he doesn’t flash, and he calls back when your airtime runs out. You may think this is nothing nau, but mhen, na big thing o.  I sabi wetin some of my friends dey go through for their pele hand.
  30. I Celebrate My Dad Because he yabs us and allows us to yab him too without picking offenses.
  31. I Celebrate My Dad Because he offers us our transport (though we decline) for visiting him. He believes that you made such a huge effort in visiting him.  The bigger belief, I believe, is that he still sees us as his kids.  Sir, we are not just sons, adult sons. Hehehe.
  32. I Celebrate My Dad Because he made me believe in and have platonic relationships with the opposite sex. I find it strange today that many teenagers do not even know what platonic relationships are and so, they cannot harness and take advantage of what it offers them.  My dad was a coach, a mentor and a counselor.
  33. I Celebrate My Dad Because he allowed my school teachers to handle me properly. I was terrible.  He never supported me when I was reported.  Truth is, my teachers were correct. Hahahaha.
  34. I Celebrate My Dad because he was a father we could really gist anything with, including topics bothering on girls and sex. I remember my neighbor saying he wished he could relate with his kids the way my dad related and relates with us.  Friends have actually come to our house and thought that my dad was my elder brother and greeted him as such.  Oh now, I remember when my campus fellowship came visiting and greeted my father “bros, good afternoon sir” and told me “go and tell your father that we are around.” My dad simply got up from the sofa, walked into the room so that I could find him there to tell him that my pastor was around to visit him. Hehehe.
  35. I Celebrate My Dad Because he gave us a great step-mom who loves us like kilode. One of the biggest blessings we have is the blessing of an awesome step-mom. She is just so amazing that I was happy to start calling her mom a day before their wedding.  In choosing her, dad ensured he chose someone who never knew my mom and who we never met before, so there was no threat or jealousy.  Well, our only sister was, but for a very short while. Today, they are the biggest allies in the family.
  36. I Celebrate My Dad Because he doesn’t love or treat my step mom less than he loved my late mom. At first, I wondered if that would be able to have a lovely sexual relationship with my step-mom.  I was concerned that he may just see her as a housemate. You needed to see the excitement I had when I came home one day and they were in the bathroom together, bathing.  I like that.
  37. I Celebrate My Dad Because he allows all his kids to “argue” with him and he reasons with us. I am actually, as I write this, thinking if there is actually anything that my dad has given a declaration on that he has never allowed or opened up for deliberations and criticism.  He does it like God – bring your point, let me bring my point and let us reason together.
  38. I Celebrate My Dad Because he doesn’t compel us to come home for Christmas or for any other thing. Well, I have only missed Village Christmas once and that’s because I love it, not because I am compelled to be home for Christmas or other religious and national festivals.  I know of people who are more than 30 years old and yet, they dare not think of celebrating Christmas outside their home.
  39. I Celebrate My Dad Because he prefers to violate culture and “religion” than violate his marriage or family. In doing this, dad has made me realize that your marriage comes first, then your family, before church people.
  40. I Celebrate My Dad Because he made us all to serve in Children’s Ministry to learn how to take care of kids. Working with kids doesn’t come natural for me. I love and enjoy working with Teenagers most.  However, in my family, dad made it a rule for everyone of us to serve in the Children’s ministry.  His reason is so we could learn how to parent.  So I, for years, volunteered in S.U. and also in church as a children’s teacher.  I have also volunteered at a crèche before.  And someday soon, bae and intend to have our own crèche. I remember when one of my brothers was bent on not volunteering in the children’s department. Dad fought him until he succumbed and mhen was so good at it that I wondered why he fought it before.  
  41. I Celebrate My Dad because he doesn’t insist that we must live close to home. Have you heard of those folks who their parents insist that the kids must live within the state or at most, in the geo-political region? I know many of them. Well, for my father, it isn’t so. Dad would even love that more than one of his kids doesn’t live in the same state. As far as he is concerned – go and live your life. And we would always be here for you.
  42. I Celebrate My Dad Because there was no good thing he could afford that he withheld from us. Shikenna!
  43. I Celebrate My Dad because he allowed me to take his phone to school (then) to be forming big boy. Hahaha.
  44. I Celebrate My Dad Because all the materials I used in starting off as a counsellor came from him. He purchased and requested for any and every material on sex and relationship that he could lay his hands on for us in the house.  They became my first resource material as a teen counselor.
  45. I Celebrate My Dad Because he allowed us borrow his shoes, t-shirts and other articles to form big boys. We dragged some sha. But he released most to us permanently.

Happy 61st to my dad who becomes a year older today Wednesday 8th August.

My name is Earl, and I am Alright.

My father’s name is EIGBE, Patrick Osajie.

 

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