I told myself earlier in the week that I would be making efforts to cook so my boys can know and see that cooking (for our family) is not a gender role but a survival everyday skill for both sexes. This may surprise many people who know me from home.

Yes, I grew up in a home where everyone cooked. My mother (Bodicia) did not understand that this is Africa and cooking was a woman’s chore. It didn’t start from her; until my maternal grandfather lost a significant amount of eye sight, I knew him to prepare his breakfast, although he had a wife, daughters and a house keeper at home.

My father was a “bad example” too as he cooked and still cooks. He would be 64 tomorrow. Yet, as a grandpa, he still enters the kitchen to cook for us all when my mom (Dorcas) sister, and wife are at home. This man will cook and ask if we want to be served on the dinning table or in our rooms. It was from my dad I learned that a good cook must know how to prepare the same meal in at least, 5 different ways.

Wifey has asked me “why can’t you be like your father?” And I replied “that was not part of the terms and conditions.”

Yes, although I come from a family where grandfather and father cooks, I strongly dislike cooking. Don’t get me wrong. Following my father’s standard, I could prepare many meals including boiled white rice (abi na snow rice sef) in about 5 different ways. I know how to make fufu from the scratch and my family will tell you that I farm, mill and fry garri without stress. However, yours sincerely strongly dislikes cooking. Unfortunately, you cannot use food to catch me although it good food over time can buy my emotional loyalty. Hehehe.

To save myself the headache in marriage, I told wifey that all the internet gist of “wife not cook” does not apply to me. If there are any two particular needs in my life for me to marry, it would be for home made meals and sex (every other thing, including companionship was secondary, as I wasn’t feeling lonely in any way). If you removed these two things from marriage, I would most likely be better off single. I went further to mention and agree with her before marriage that if cooking was ever burdensome, she rather present the option of a maid than I supporting in the kitchen. My support is to provide money as much as I can and eat the food (make e for no waste). The good thing is I am not selective and don’t insist a meal must be in a particular way (thanks to my dad with all the options).


I understand that being a father means being a role model and mentor, and I have two boys. So, I have been asking myself if my stand on not cooking is good mentorship and role modelling to my boys (Acorn likes kitchen chores). Well, before I answer, I am proud to mention that my boys think that it is a father’s role to —

  1. Wash the bathroom,
  2. Mop,
  3. Buy the groceries,
  4. Do the laundry,
  5. Put the kids to sleep,
  6. Help with the assignments and read you a book,
  7. Carry and watch over you in church and other events,
  8. Take you to the hospital if you need medical intervention,
  9. Attend to your night emergencies etc.

I wish cooking was part of this list, but if wishes were horses…. I wish I could pick the clothes, but everyone knows that my fashion sense is terrible.

I will try some more to cook once in a while, although that is one thing I wished I never did again in my life. But for the boys, I will have to carry this cross, and that is because my grandfather and father did not only tell me that cooking is not a woman’s job, but went further and showed me by doing it themselves as great grandpa and grandpa. Maybe I will be like the cooking them when I grow up.

My father once told us as kids that the best cooks were males. The winners of Magi and other cooking competitions on TV and magazines were always mostly males. Today, most of the choice restaurants in your city would most likely have male chefs. The facts speak for themselves.

Argue with you keypad if you may, but I just sha know that I am a good husband and great dad, cooking or not cooking. Hehehe

My name is EARL, and I am ALRIGHT.