Foresee Your Romantic Destination

 I worked for two other law organizations I loved before joining Graceville Chambers as a legal partner. I have always loved my job as a lawyer but not as much as I loved the day my pay was due and came in. Appearance fees made court more fun.

I am not the only seemingly bad guy here. If you remove heaven and the new earth, many Christians would reconsider their salvation. Many. Why? Because we all do what we do for what we hope to receive at the end of the day.

Even when we claim it to be sacrifice or philanthropy, there’s still a benefit we hope to receive; most likely emotionally. It is usually a reward, a gain, or a feeling. If giving or doing it won’t change your mood for the better, you may most likely not do it.

this is God’s style too; in other to gain the world, He used Jesus to make the bargain. Even Jesus, for the hope and glory that was set before Him, endured the cross unto death (see Hebrews 12:2). There’s always a hope of something good, a reward we expect for doing something whether or not we claim it to be selfless.

When Jacob served Leban, he made all the sacrifices because of a babe, Rachel, his bae. If you don’t give your partner a reason to make the sacrifices for the relationship, why should she? why should he?

Every man wants a wife, a partner, support and a great mom to kids. Ladies have a similar desire too. If s/he doesn’t see in you what s/he wants in a spouse, I advice s/he breaks up with you! Yes, why go through the stress, challenges and of course, fun of a relationship if there’s no hope in view?

Let’s not take it too far. Let’s start from a close place; why should he ask you out? Why? And why should she say YES to you, this you? I know many people fasting and praying for a spouse that I dare not recommend a friend to. Beyond surface level, they lack depth. They’ve got nothing to offer as a husband or wife. Sure, they’ll be great boy/girl friends but definitely not great dads and moms. Sometimes, just the mere exercise of thinking of them as a spouse could give migraine.

Worse are those in a relationship for several months and years without knowing the destination. they can’t emphatically say where they are heading. They are guessing marriage. They’re wishing it will end in marriage but no ground appear for such desires.

I usually say that 3 months is enough for her to think, pray and decide to say Yes or NO. Three months are enough for him to tell you when possibly the marriage will be. He may not pick a date, but should be able to say what year or period he desires to marry you.

That’s planning.

That’s purpose.

And three months is also enough to know whether or not you want to continue with a relationship. After three months, you should be able to conclude on if you can or cannot marry the person.

Many people may want to take more time, and some counsellors may argue this too. However, if you guys have been friends for a while before romance crept in, three months is sufficient unless you were never anticipating and preparing for marriage. Three months period is sufficient if you know yourself and what you want in a spouse and in marriage well.

It is good to see the now but better and more rewarding to look (not just peep) into the future. Something made Jesus go through all the pain, death and disgrace; the joy set before Him, the glory. They were part of what motivated Him to go through all the mess.

Some people can see nothing in the future but are hoping the dude or babe will change, hoping that things will move from good to better, not bad to good. However, bad relationships usually become worse in marriage.

What do you see in the future of your partner and the relationship? Faith helps facts, and not nothing. When you demand a sacrifice from your partner, ask yourself “what will s/he gain in return?” When required to make a huge sacrifice, ask yourself “what will be my gain in investing this sacrifice?” And if there’s a good, hopeful future, be like David who encouraged himself in the Lord.

Yes, things may look dim now and your partner may not look it, but check the future. If the future is your heart’s desire, endure the cross, despise the shame and get the glory like Jesus! Motivate and encourage yourself because family and pals may not. Remember they left Jesus too. It’s this simple, foresee your romantic future and continue with the relationship or quit!

It is your relationship with Jesus that makes your romantic relationship sweet.

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