How to Use SMS to Boost Your Romance

Seriously, it is easy. It may need your attention (just like every other romantic thing) but it is easy. Romance is deliberate, it is a conscious decision. It may not be grammatically correct but if you want your relationship to thrive, then you have to see romance as a “doing” word. Romance is what you do. Yes, it may become a habit, a way of life thereafter, but the beginning takes some extra effort. Romance is a skill. It is learned, then mastered, then upgraded and updated from time to time as time passes.  Don’t forget that romance is DOING and SAYING what makes your partner feel loved, wanted and cherished unconditionally.

Before I sat down to prepare this, it took me days to put my bumbum on the chair and write. Thank God for the trigger that has made me develop this idea for you. Dolapo Babatunde (Mrs.), Nee Oloje’s wedding programme of 2012 was the trigger. Two pages of the wedding programme has “Prayers For Our Marriage” which is a daily prayer for couples. This morning, I read the prayer hinged on Proverbs 17:17 “Lord God, we pray that You would deepen and strengthen our friendship for each other.” That prayer was the trigger. Well, I don’t think it is God’s responsibility to deepen my friendship for, to, or with any person. I think it is my responsibility to do what would deepen the friendship while taking advantage of God’s grace. So, just as the scripture, Proverbs 17:17 NLT says “a friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need”, I prayed that God should help me be loyal to my fiancée and the relationship. I committed to be loyal to her and always be there to help her in times of need and then, I asked God to so help me.

In 2007, I heard a friend say that “communication is the lubricant in the wheel of every relationship”. I am sure he wasn’t the one who made the statement so I don’t really know who to acknowledge for it but I do know that without healthy communication between two or more people, their relationship won’t be healthy. Someone asked me if it was necessary to talk with one’s partner every day? And I answered in the affirmative. In the teen days of my father or the romantic days of my grandfather, it may not have been a must for two people in a relationship to talk everyday most especially if the relationship was a long-distance relationship. Their means of travels were slow and communication took days, or weeks through the Nigeria Postal Services (NIPOST). But hey, we have mobile phones today and lots of social media communication platforms, applications and options; we are inexcusable not to talk with our partner, at least, for 15minutes every day!

Communication may not mean so much to guys as it means to girls. Or let’s say, what communication means to guys isn’t what it means to girls. When girls want quantity and quality discussions, interactions, gist and the likes, guys just want quality discussions and such quality discussion could be achieved two times or a little more in a week.

Voice calls are good. Video calls are awesome. But when it comes to romance, SMS and handwritten notes or letters are super amazing, most especially to ladies. Well, when it comes to cute and romantic SMS, what’s good for the goose, I have found out, is also very good for the gander. So just as ladies want to wake-up to cute romantic SMS from their partner, guys won’t also mind receiving same.

However, sending your partner cute SMS every day doesn’t come easy for most of us. I have met guys who agree that they like the effect cute SMS has every morning or during the day on their partners, but it is definitely not something they can keep-up doing every day. For a guy, one “I love you” for a year may be enough, but a girl may not mind hearing it every hour. Guys are concerned about the quality of the words. Girls are concerned not just about the quality, but also the quantity (generally speaking).

Several years ago, even before I started my relationship, I promised myself that I would be sending my fiancée at least three SMS every day; one in the morning, one in the afternoon and one at night. The good news is that I try to make efforts to send her an SMS everyday although there could be some days that I don’t. The bad news is that I have never been able to send the minimum of three SMS consecutively for more than two weeks. I doubt if I have even been successful for a two week stretch. Well, I am good at sending the early morning cute SMS and have added the afternoon SMS. With time, the evening one would become regular, I believe.

What Makes an SMS Cute.

Say it as you feel it and as you mean it. Your partner can see, read, smell and feel originality in your SMS when you do it this way. He or she already knows you and you guys have been talking for a while now, so your partner knows when you are “Speechless” as Michael Jackson sang. Don’t make it complicated. Don’t borrow words unless it’s a poem you are composing. Just make the SMS simple. Yes you may want to explain heaven and earth and the world beneath but just keep it simple. If you don’t have the impression to write something long, don’t. In fact, ensure that your SMSes are usually not longer than one page; your partner should be able to see all your cute words at one glance.

Did you know that the top cutest SMS are actually “I love you”, “I miss you”, “I need a hug,” “Please come over” etc.? As much as you can, don’t let you SMS be longer than three words sef. Let one page be your maximum target. If the SMS is longer than one page, you may want to send it as a WhatsApp of BBM or any other means or even post it on Facebook and tag him or her. If your SMS is longer than one page, break it into two independent SMSes.; it’s better and more romantic that way. You definitely don’t want her mobile network service provider to send her your romantic SMS in pieces, so just break it in halves yourself.

There have been more than three times that all I sent bae was “shalom” and other times “you rock!” I was speechless and needed to explain all she was and the only thing that could explain it for me to her at that particular time was “I love you like kilode”. And that’s another one; learn to mix your native language with English when sending your partner cute SMS, it’s romantic too. You could combine it with another language that isn’t your native tongue but ensure that your partner understands the other language or the word being used.

Copy with sense.

I repeat; copy with sense. It’s okay for you to send your partner an SMS based on an idea you got from another person’s SMS and all those search results on Google.com. But copy with sense. Don’t be like those students that copy other people’s exam script word-for-word to the extent of copying their personal details. Please, don’t be so dumb and even if you were once so dumb, quickly change. Being dumb doesn’t help your romance in any way.

Let me tell you something; you and your partner always talk and you guys have gisted in person and over the phone for several minutes, days, weeks and months before now. Your partner knows your words, your grammatical structure, your mental and emotional and intellectual capacity. Most of all, your partner knows what I call your “signature.”

Let me explain what your signature is; when I am the one calling my partner, I have the pet-name I naturally, effortlessly use. When she is the one calling, it is another pet-name I unconsciously answer her with. When I am angry, there is a pet-name I use and when I am happy, there is another pet-name I use. When I am emotionally high, let’s say “horny”, there is a pet-name I use and when I don’t differentiate between her and the other persons around me, there is another pet-name I use. My babe would be surprised if I used “my love” or I use “love” in addressing her. When our relationship was still knew, and her cousin answered my calls, it was the signature I used in detecting if I was talking with Seember or I was talking with Mimi. Their voices sound very similar, but the signature separates them. Bae works with children as an Early Child Care Educator and those kids have a way they sometimes, on some days, strain her voice, so when she answers the call, I am like “signature please.”

It’s okay to get ideas from Google on cute morning SMS or cute afternoon SMS or cute Evening SMS. You can even find cute Monday SMS for him and cute Wednesday SMS for her. But this is how to copy. Go through at least, five different sms and see which one conveys your immediate feeling most. Yes, I am particular about the immediate feeling because that’s what’s going to make your SMS be and sound original and authentic. Every SMS must portray your immediate mood, else, your partner may choose to call back immediately and the texture of your voice would be a big disconnect from the “texture” of your voice s/he heard through the SMS.

When copying an SMS, rephrase it. Oh no, you definitely don’t want your partner to Google your SMS and find that you were a copy-cat. That is disastrous. Hahahaha. So rephrase the SMS. If possible, I advise you combine two or more SMS to form one. So you may pick a line from here and pick the concluding part from your head.

Coping with the stress

Oh I remember when I used to have like three to five litigation cases in a day, and still needed to attend to some clients who came to the office to solicit legal advice. I remember that on those same days, I gave myself the target of reading at least, one book every week and I still had church and sports to attend to. Counselling was another big part of my week too. Composing cute SMS was obviously the last thing on my mind. If I were to compose based on moods and feelings, it would have always had stress and “work” as the undertone so the best thing was for me to wait till the night when I would have unwound my day and emotions and feel cool.

However, I found a trick which I shared with a friend and it works. Yes it works if you follow the principles I have earlier shared. When in the mood, you can compose more than 5 SMS and save in your message draft. And every time you are set to send an SMS, you scroll through your draft messages to see which one conveys your feelings the most at that particular time and send it. If there is none on your list, then you just compose a fresh one while still having your SMS bank, full.

This is how I apply this in my relationship; Before I sleep, I compose the SMS I want to send bae the following morning based on my mood and save it in my draft. The moment my alarm is set off, I scroll to my draft and send the SMS straight. Forgive me for being lazy.

What’s the best time to send a romantic SMS?

From the gist I have had with counsellees over the years, it depends on what SMS you are sending. Most ladies love to wake-up to find a cute SMS waiting for them. So the best time for you to send her morning SMS is before she wakes up. Know her alarm time and beat it. Shikenna. Sometimes I wake up at 2am, compose and send a romantic SMS and go back to sleep.

Then if it is during the day, aim at the period when the person is most stressed based on work load or during his or her lunch hour. Some dudes may prefer to receive the cute SMS during the peak hours of their job. Know your partner. I remember a period when I had many financial issues and bae just sent me “I am proud of you”. It was a time when I was trying to fix things during the day. Another time, she sent “I love the work your do….” And those were perfect at those times. If she was around me at those times, after reading those SMSes, I would have probably eaten her up like chewing-gum. She sounded yumming. hahaha

Then again, another perfect time to send your partner that cute SMS is when you know that he or she is with friends; it’s super, doper romantic. He or she would blush and the friends would want to know why, and your SMS would be the excuse. Every person, no matter the sex or gender wants to prove to his or her friends that their partner is super romantic. So give your partner that opportunity to show case to the friends how romantic you are.

Did you know that you can actually send your partner an SMS of “I love the sound of your voice” when you are on phone or skype or video call with him or her? Yes you can. You are using your ear piece to make the call so your hands are free to type, besides, modern mobile devices allows us do more than one thing at a time. There are two possibilities; your partner would either see the message as you guys are still talking or your partner would see it immediately after the call ends and both outcomes would still create a romantic effect.

Be warned

Never use bulk SMS platforms to send a romantic SMS. And if it is possible, don’t use free SMS grants unless you are using a Closed User Group (CUG) line or using some free SMS from your mobile network service provider. The reason is simple; most people only send their partners cute SMS when they have free SMS. No nau; that is big falling hand. If you keep on sending SMS only when your network gives your free SMS, believe me, your partner would catch you and that won’t be good at all for your romance.

Phone-Sex and Sexting

It may be okay for a married couple to sext but it should be a no go area for singles. You may be tempted to want to flirt, but don’t sext. It has more disadvantages for your relationship than it has advantages. I advise that you read all our related articles about Phone-Sex and Sexting.

Are you married? Then take advantage of your SMS to flirt with your spouse and also put him or her in the mood during the day for when you come home in the evening. Life just got easier, so also romance. And like LG says; Life’s Good!

As much as you can, make it a practice of sending your partner at least, one SMS a day. An SMS (in Nigeria) is just Four Naira and that’s a total of just One Hundred and Twenty Four Naira for a month and that is if the month has thirty-one days!

Don’t spoil the fun

Too much of everything is bad and a never ending routine could become boring overtime. So I may advice that you sometimes, maybe every three weeks, change the time of the day when you send the cute SMS. You don’t want your partner to see your SMS as a “normal thing” but as an act of love, care, concern and remembrance. Use discretion and intuition, it would help you a lot.

Don’t forget that voice calls and video calls are great but nothing can replace those cute SMS and handwritten love notes. You may want to even write your partner a letter and post it through NIPOST. Post it to his or her office and experience the amazing romantic effect it would have on your partner and romance.

Always remember that your relationship with Jesus makes your sex and romantic life sweeter.

My name is Earl, and I am Alright

God bless Nigeria (good people, great nation)

You rock!

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