​Let’s call this ROMANCE 2.0, 2013 EDITION

Alright’s Passion is helping young people with sex and relationship issues through diverse means, ensuring that our counseling is true and accurate to the Bible, balanced and culturally relevant. Our INTENTION at the “Romance Café WhatsApp Group is to educate, re-orient and give one-on-one support to young people so that they can make informed romantic decisions which will help them confront and deal with their sex and relationship issues effectively.

For a while now, we at the Alright’s Passion have been studying the causes of breakups, breach of promise to marry and divorce. We are discovering something amazing; it’s not trust issues or faithfulness wahala. Many relationships are coming to an end because a partner is refusing to grow, to upgrade. Change is something that happens every time. We don’t need APC political party to bring about it. Apart from Red, White or Pink Wine that gets better with age, time makes many other things depreciate in quality and value. 

Yeah, our mentality exposure, emotions and personality do not get better with time, ordinarily. They get better because we read more, meet more people, take more courses and challenges. Experience in itself isn’t the best teacher. Experience is an awesome teacher when the lessons learned from the experience is positive.

The problem with most people is that since they started their relationships, they’ve not become better. They are relaxed in the “confidence” that they are already in a healthy relationship. So they do nothing to upgrade their intelligence, looks, personality and love-service. 

Allow me burst your pretty bubbles; No woman or man is a medal. Your partner is a trophy. Medals are won and kept. But when it comes to trophies, you have to always defend your championship. 

The fact that you were everything she or he wanted in 2013 doesn’t mean you still match up in 2017. If he or she has upgraded since then, but you haven’t, you partner has outgrown you. Padi mi, you’re now romantically out of date. 

Have you heard women complain that after suffering with a man, he dumps you for one “thing”? Have you heard guys complain that after spending so much on a girl, she breaks up with them for another guy? As a sex and relationship counselor of about 12 years plus, I get to hear these a lot. 

Let me give you a gist: I’ve got a Techno P9. I tried fixing the touch screen (caliberation, right?) but Carl Care said I must upgrade my panel. The fault is just 2k+ thereabouts but they wanted me to do an upgrade of 15k too. General, regular technicians would fix my screen and my tab would be back but Carl Care calls for an upgrade first. You see, when you were suffering with him, investing in her, you failed to upgrade alongside. 

What’s the loophole in your romance that one outside boy or girl wants to take advantage of? Is it chatting? Quality gisting time? Flirting? Giving? Compliments? Concern? Dressing? 

Keeping a man now goes beyond giving him food, a clean house and male sons. Not even good sex can keep a man. If it could, playboys would have been faithful. Keeping a woman now goes beyond paying the bills, coming home every night and being a church boy.

Some counselors used to get embarrassed when a person wanted to breakup with a “good” partner. It’s no longer so. Counselors have now realized that satisfactory romance is beyond “not cheating”, having a job and being a worker in church.

Every month, our perspective of life changes, so also our desires and tastes. So it’s okay for your partner to like this today but stop liking it tomorrow. Growing up, my beast food was moi-moi, then yam and garden eggs, then it became beans. But now, it is eba. So also my type of music has changed from Country to Jazz then to Rock. You will be so wrong to claim that my best food is moi moi and my best genre of music is country. Yes it used to be so, but it has long changed. 

What attention means to your partner has changed. What caring means to your wife has moved from just providing to include bathing and babysitting the kids. If you met your guy in school and now NYSC has passed, babe, the dude has changed. Upgrade. 

It now goes beyond a praying wife to an encouraging wife full of hope and faith with gifts of the spirit too. It now goes beyond being tall, dark, slim and handsome to being able to do the laundry and the dishes as well. You used to be the man of her dreams; well she has stopped dreaming. Upgrade to her reality. 

I’ve seen folks unable to enjoy new features on their Apps because they failed to upgrade. It won’t be surprising that some persons here can’t use their whatsapp to make video calls, quote or highlight. People like these don’t want to “waste” their MB so they choose to remain on Version 1.0. Upgrade joor. I noticed life was easier by upgrading and updating my mobile Apps and my library every week. 

I realized I was getting better by updating my physical and spiritual life by exercises. So I decided to try same with my romantic affair. I try to upgrade every week. I always ask bae “what do you want me to stop doing, start doing, do more or do less?” So when something unique catches her attention in another guy or relationship, I quickly upgrade, or update where necessary. Wisdom makes her to do the same because she knows my job exposes me to upgrade, always. 

Your parents’ romance may be great, but if you haven’t built on it, you’re romantically out of date. Laws are made every year. If as a lawyer, I am still using the ones I was taught with during law school, I am as out of date like my grandfather’s landline with messy NITEL cables all around. 

I know Nokia 3310 is unique, so also Nokia N91, but chai, Windows phone is now even going old fashioned. Romantic cards are still very lovely, but don’t forget to tag her on Facebook and Instagram. Wearing his t.shirt is still so cool, but don’t forget to use his pics as your Whatsapp profile picture. 

Stop complaining that one girl who didn’t know how he used to be and look 2years ago is flirting around him. Well, that’s the wahala; You still see and relate with him like the dude of 2 years ago. Update. Oh, you trained her, and he wants to get her? Stop treating her as that secondary school babe then. 

I’ve said a lot already, let me give you some peace. 

May God keep you.

My name is Earl, and I am Alright.

God bless Nigeria (good people, great nation).

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