WE ARE ALL PMS

 Oh no, don’t get me wrong. I am not about talking about Premenstrual Syndrome. Hey, no. I am about talking about Premium Motor Spirit (PMS) which we commonly call petrol or fuel. Yeah, this is what I want to talk about, dearie. This is what I want to focus on and don’t even try to get it twisted; there is nothing wrong with premenstrual syndrome. It’s just that it isn’t what I want to focus on today.

I think we have relegated women to a background for too long because of some Biblical scriptures taught out of context and out of balance. So let me just highlight some of the scriptures taught out of context (it’s not that I want to even teach them in context now sef; forgive me):

“Women should be silent during the church meetings. It is not proper for them to speak. They should be submissive, just as the law says. If they have any questions, they should ask their husbands at home, for it is improper for women to speak in church meetings.” –1 Corinthians 14:34-35 NLT

“Women should learn quietly and submissively. I do not let women teach men or have authority over them. Let them listen quietly.” –1Timothy 2:11-12 NLT

Although there are many other scriptures, these are the two main scriptures that proponents of that theory hinge on. Well, they forgot that Paul was teaching a cultural doctrine and not a spiritual principle. When Jesus came to save the world, he came to save men and women. When He sent out people on evangelism, He sent out men and women. When He sent down the Holy Spirit, it was upon men and women. This is why our goal at Alright’s Passion is simply to “help young people with sex and relationship issues through diverse means, ensuring that our counseling is true and accurate to the Bible, balanced and culturally relevant.”

 I am still coming to PMS but let’s get some truth and accuracy first. Then we would focus on balance and on to cultural relevance. So let’s check out some scriptures that talk about women and submission:

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord.” Colossians 3:18NLT

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands….” –1 Peter 3:1 NLT

Then let’s see the major scripture used by many to preach submission:

 “For wives, this means submit to your husbands as unto the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife…. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.” -Ephesians 5:21-24 NLT

Always remember that a relationship is a team and for a team to be efficient and productive, it has to have a captain. There can’t be two captains in a ship because if there are, the crew wouldn’t know who to follow. Now, your relationship is two becoming one (a team). Your marriage is two become one (a team). For your team to be successful and get victories, someone has to be the team leader. Someone has to be in charge, give directions, and take responsibility and lead. This is why every team or organization that has more than one person always has one person who is the boss, superior, principal, and captain.

History tells us that once any team doesn’t have a figure head, such team must fail. Such team must break apart. That is why we say that a house that is divided against itself cannot stand. For a relationship to stand and not fail, it must have a person as the figure head, as the boss. God created man; male and female. In marriage, God made the husband the head of the wife.

Do you remember your social studies? Male and female has to do with the sexes, the biological make-up. God made the biology. However, marriage made the gender; man and woman. Remember that gender has to do with societal and cultural assigned roles and duties. So, there is nothing a male can do that a female can’t do because they are both man (human beings);

“and God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” -Genesis 1:26-27

See ehn, “…in the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he Him; male and female created He them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created. -Genesis 5:1-2 KJV

What this means is that, in content, God created male and female to be the same; to have equal rights, authority and privileges. Paul tried to explain this so much in scripture when he even mentioned that in Christ, there is neither male nor female, we are one (Galatians 3:28). I like the way E.W. Kenyon made it easier for us to understand; we are spirits, we have a soul, and we live in mortal physical bodies. What this means is that whether we are men or women, male or females, we are all spirits (who are equal in rank and status). It is only in our physical bodies we appear to be different. No wonder Jesus said that there is no marriage after death in the kingdom of heaven. Simply put, spirits are the same. They don’t have sex organs. They aren’t distinct so as to make room for marriage to create a union, a unity in diversity between/within them.

This is what the Bible teaches; we may be equal in spirits, but for a relationship or marriage to thrive, one spirit has to be subject to the other spirit because we are now a team. The spirit that should submit to the other spirit is the spirit that is in a female body. Yeah, the female body should submit to the male body. Or better still, the woman (gender) should submit to the man. This is why one culture can say a man should be the provider (e.g. Igbo), another culture says a woman should be the provider (e.g.  Urhobo), and yet another culture says that both men and women should be the provider (e.g. Western Culture).

One culture says the man should pay the bride price (e.g. Nigeria) while another says the woman should pay the dowry (e.g. India); and yet another culture says there should be no dowry at all (e.g. the English). One culture says the wife should bear the husband’s name, another culture says that the man should bear the woman’s name (e.g. The Ashanti tribe of Ghana) and yet, another culture says you should retain your birth name (as we see in western cultures most especially amongst celebrities).

 We are all PMS

Only Peter seemed to have clearly explained this in scripture. He understood our content better than our packaging. Yes packaging matters, but content matters most. This is how Peter said it in 1Peter 3:7;

 “…you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life.

In essence, we are all like petrol but in different containers. Some of us are in galawa while some of us are in nylon bags. The fact that the petrol is in nylon bag doesn’t mean that it is less potent or ‘less petrol’ than the one in the steel can. Peter says that “she may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life.”

Do you know why women are more emotional, easily angered, pissed off, seemingly less understanding, kind of always nagging, more demanding of care, time and attention and all-those-plenty-other-things-about-women that we men complain about? It’s because their packaging can’t seem to contain their content as much as that of males can. In fact, you should be more careful of the petrol in nylon. Mhen, that petrol can turn your life all around because it is highly inflammable. That’s why Peter said “…you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together…. Treat her as you should….”

 Peter understood women more than Paul when it comes to personal experience. History says that He was married to one, had daughters and even his mother-in-law lived with Him! Paul didn’t have these experiences and understanding. So Peter says you as a husband MUST give honour to your wife. He advised that you relate and treat your wife with knowledge and understanding as you LIVE TOGETHER. He went further to say that you should treat her as you should. How? As “your equal partner in God’s gift of new life.”

That’s why I find it hilarious when men expect to be wiser than women, more spiritual, and more intelligent. That is so dull of you to think as a man mhen. In fact, my fiancée is the prophet in my relationship. I believe her prophecies and declarations more in our prayers than I do mine. We are all PMS. We are all spirits.

My understanding of this made me desire to have a female mentor rather than a male mentor. And guess what, the person who commissioned me into ministry is a woman (Donna Smiley-Young). The person who ordained me as a minister is also a woman (Franca Atokolo). Simple; I understand that the container may be weaker and should be handled more with care but the content is one and the same!

So dudes, how do you see the women in your life? Do you see them as weaker vessels (packaging) or weaker spirits/personalities (content)? Babe, how do you see yourself in the midst of men; as one who is inferior (in packaging) or equal (in spirit and soul)?

Following Peter’s advice, we are more to be careful in relating with women than in relating with men. It’s crazy that some pastors are teaching sermons that kinda say women should be more careful in relating with their husbands. The Bible says women should submit to men (authority structure) but when it comes to everyday life, the Bible says that men …”must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life.Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.”

Did you know that this isn’t the only scripture in the Bible that warns men about how they treat their wives and how it relates with and connects to their answers to prayers? Check this out:

Here is another thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, weeping and groaning because he pays no attention to your offerings and doesn’t accept them with pleasure. You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows. Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. “For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife. -Malachi 2:13-16

Well, I may have real and deep revelations and understanding from and of the Bible but I must confess that I have never read the entire Bible, either back to back or by some other means. However, my friends would attest that I do fairly more than average in reading books and also studying the Bible. So I can boldly tell you that I don’t know any scripture (for now) where women suffer spiritual negative consequences for not treating their husbands right (please if you do, let me know. Apostle Paul said we all know in part; and Lord Denning said God forbid that a man should know all the law).

The Bible doesn’t say that women should submit to men. It doesn’t say that females should submit to men. It only says that WIVES should submit to their OWN husbands. Don’t get the Bible twisted, it ain’t. So although I have brothers that are older than my fiancée, she can’t submit to them. They can’t demand submission from her (unless dem don start to dey crase ni). And hey, when Paul taught on women not to be allowed to preach in church, he was talking culture. In the Yoruba culture of Nigeria for instance, a woman can be a chief and principal member of a family or be a king maker. No way, that can’t happen in the Esan culture! It’s all about culture and not spiritual rules and principles.

Don’t forget that it is your relationship with Jesus that makes your sex and romantic life sweet. If you have this relationship straightened out, you will treat your woman as Peter advised and enjoy her more than any other man has ever enjoyed a woman.

My name is Earl, and I am Alright.

God bless Nigeria (good people, great nation). You rock!

Photo credit: Miss Ehizode

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