It is my belief that this young woman meant “what can Christians do for fun in a relationship?”

There are concepts here that I wish to make clear statements on:

A romantic relationship is a romantic relationship. There is no Christian or pagan relationship. All there is, are relationships based on Christian or non-Christian (other religious or socio-cultural) Principles.

Taking it a step further, we have statutory and customary marriages in Nigeria. Under statutory marriages, we have marriage under the Marriage Act which may be conducted at the Marriage Registry, a Church or any other place licensed for such purposes. Under the customary marriage, we have marriages based on our various customs and traditions and Islamic marriage. Since you haven’t consulted me as a lawyer but as a sex and relationship counsellor, I refuse to go further in explaining these.

What then can Christians do for fun in a relationship?

Everything that gives fun that doesn’t violate Christian morals and virtues, and also the civil and customary rules of the local community where the “couple” lives. Consequently, outings, public dating, group dating, task sharing, game playing and many more falls within the boundaries of what Christians can do in a relationship. Yes, PDA (Public Display of Affections) is also well welcomed.

Interestingly, apart from sexual activities, it is the same things you use in spicing up a relationship that you also use to spice up a marriage. Set goals and targets, achieve them. Play games together, take challenges together (like the Luke Jesus Story Challenge), see movies and read books together, and analyze them. Play board, card and video games together. Volunteer together and separately. Make new friends as a “couple,” attend social and religious events together. These and many more are ways to make your relationship fun.

Many may think that sex spices up a relationship. If it does, then many marriages wouldn’t be bored (for even sex needs spicing). Yes, sex is not a “spice.” many who have tried to use it to spice up their relationships have ended up more bored, lonely and depressed. Sex is the icing and although the icing or fondant needs to be great, it doesn’t automatically make the cake sweet.

Always remember that premarital sex is a great roof but a bad foundation. Your relationship is in its foundational level, and no matter how boring it is, never apply sex. No matter how bland it tastes, you don’t apply salt (sex) to pounded yam (relationship), it is the soup (marriage) that needs it.

My name is Earl, and I am Alright.

You rock!