My dad, Acorn’s grandfather, a pensioner, still cooks for the family even when my mom (Dorcas), wife and sister are home! My maternal grandfather cooked until his eyes started failing him. My mom (Bodicia) didn’t care if what was between our legs was a penis, so I cooked and even fried garri while I lived at home. Yes, she was even training me on cooking party meals before her death.

However, I have always disliked and still dislike cooking. It is one domestic task I wish to never do. So when I was to marry, I told wifey, I don’t know whether it is being an African man or male chauvinism, but she should never expect cooking from me. I was a bachelor for about 7 years (after school) and I ate out most of it. If she wants a cooking husband, then I am not the one. It’s not that I can’t cook (my dad raised us to know how to prepare any meal at least, in 3 to 5 different ways), but I don’t just like cooking.

Yes, I have cooked for her in our one year, two days old marriage, but it hasn’t been up to 5 times. Yes, I have cooked for myself when she wasn’t available. Most times, I make our Eba, pick and cut our vegetables, do the dishes, go to the market for the foodstuff, but cooking is not my thing (by love) at all. I pound for us and mop the kitchen, do the dishes and some other things in that department, but if you asked me if I wanted to do away with cooking for life, I would say YES. I am always feeling bad for wifey when she is cooking and sweating all over. The stress is just oo much that I am so eager to hire a cook right away, but I understand why we can’t do that now. Maybe I need to buy an air conditioner in that room.

I seriously don’t see why a person should slave to prepare a meal that money can buy. That is how much I dislike cooking.

So when #WifeNotCook was trending, I told wifey, if you follow these women, hell would be a paradise for you compared to your marriage. Its either you cook or we hire a cook, but saying you are expecting me to be cooking even 10% of all the cookings done in our house, you would be making your marriage an unhappy one.

In fact, I told my wife, and till date, that her only chore is to cook and give me sex. So as at the time of writing this article which is after one year of our marriage, she hasn’t swept the house up to 5 times. Nah, I do the laundry, I mop, go to market, clean, babysit, and still earn more than her, so call me an African man, you would be correct; I was born, raised and live in Africa. I am an African man.

Say what you will, if she can’t cook, we better hire a cook than expect me to share a cooking roaster with her. There is always Kuli Kuli and Yellow Garri in my house that always comes to my rescue when there is no food.

I don’t compel her to cook, for I always have my options, but then, I don’t expect her to demand that chore from me.

Every marriage and home have their rules and principles. My dad and granddaddy would be embarrassed that I don’t cook for my family, but I rather go out and buy the meal than stress out on it. To me, personally, it is cheaper to eat out than sweat in the kitchen.

#WifeNotCook is true and proper. If wifey doesn’t want to do it, we should get someone to do it. In my house, Cooking is not a female gender role, but daddy is allergic to it. The good thing in all of these is that I don’t select or pick meals. The only thing I don’t eat is Golden Morn’. I eat anything no matter how good or bad the cooking is.

I do desire to cook more to mentor Acorn on cooking as a male man, but mhen, can’t we just buy the food down the road since mummy isn’t available to cook? Like, must I cook?

My name is Earl, and I am Alright.

 

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(8) Comments

  1. Hahaha, Alright! Well, I’m a good cook and I enjoy it too sometimes. I think for the Africans that we are, we expect our wives to be a good cook and find it enjoyable also. However, whenever there is a twist like the husband being a better cook, even if he offers his intervention some days, I don’t think we expect it to be a male gender role completely too.

    People have to be wary of how they jump at such ashtags. It was really instructive the way you well captured it here, “So when #WifeNotCook was trending, I told wifey, if you follow these women, hell would be paradise for you compared to your marriage.” Gbam!

    1. Yes o. I make our eba, pound our yam etc. However, I don’t enjoy cooking. And to help her, I have even been suggesting that we get a maid now, but she is concerned about our finances, for i am stressed with even the way cooking stresses her. #EarlAlright

  2. Hahaha, Alright! Well, I’m a good cook and I enjoy it too sometimes. I think for the Africans that we are, we expect our wives to be a good cook and find it enjoyable also. However, whenever there is a twist like the husband being a better cook, even if he offers his intervention some days, I don’t think we expect it to be a male gender role completely too.

    People have to be wary of how they jump at such ashtags. It was really instructive the way you well captured it here, “So when #WifeNotCook was trending, I told wifey, if you follow these women, hell would be paradise for you compared to your marriage.” Gbam!

    1. Yes o. I make our eba, pound our yam etc. However, I don’t enjoy cooking. And to help her, I have even been suggesting that we get a maid now, but she is concerned about our finances, for i am stressed with even the way cooking stresses her. #EarlAlright

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