WHEN MEN MOAN

Some men are sexually dull and boring sha. They just lay there as if they are the only ones that have school fees, house rents and Christmas bills to think about.

Uncle, it is not masculinity or being macho to refuse to moan during sex. That is like actually taking the sound track out of a dance and musical video. That is evil.

It is even more wicked when all you do when she is busy riding her joy-stick, your penis, is stare at her. I mean, some men even mute their mouth with the pillow when she is giving a mouth job, like, you don’t want neighbours to hear when the fuse blows out? Hehehehe

Have you noticed that it is couples who have sex 3 times a year that have time and industry gossiping about a single neighbour whose sexual caller’s tune is loud at nights. Uncle, tend your garden.

Uncle James, did you know that one of the most thrilling experiences for women during sex, apart from when you eat up their pussy and suck out their tits, is that grabbing, moaning, squeezing and jerking that happens when you cum. That alone is orgasmic for them.

But some men are so insensitive, selfish and self centered that when that anointing comes on them, they would go mute and refuse to dig their nails and fulfil “to have and to hold.”

Wait bros, moaning doesn’t mean you are weak. It just means you are enjoying and feeling it. When you go mute, your wife is confused: she becomes worried if her pussy is tight enough, if her body is sufficiently electrifying and if you still find her sexy. She becomes concerned if you are unhappy about her or you are seeing someone else. When you “openeth not your mouth like a sheep before its shearers” you deliberately deny your wife the pleasure of the sound track of the sexual private owambe for two (you and her).

Trust me, it is men with low self esteem that refuse to moan, sigh, soft-scream, grab and jerk during sex.

Kai, I know how to be naughty sha. Hahaha. I just remember days when wifey would cover my mouth so that the neighbours do not hear my testimony during those crazy saddle backs and edge of paradise. But why should I refuse to declare out aloud when she is rocking me like no man’s business? I mean, it is like P-Square’s ‘if I give you body (omo), you go lose control.” But some men are so ego driven in an unbalanced way that they always reply their wife during sex with “I no go lose control.” If you are so concerned about the neighbours because your walls are not sound proof, then get a music box into your bedroom and play it at a volume a little higher than your moaning voice pitch. But me, which one concern me?

Uncle, before I para for you, increase the moaning volume this night, stop moaning in your mind, allow your body vibrate, jerk, and grab her like no man’s business. Na your wife.

Now that I have successfully gotten some likes and shares from all the married women reading this, let me go and eat my bread and akara. I cannot come and kill myself.

My name is Earl, and I am Alright.

And to all the men who no dey fit hold body for their wives, YOU ROCK!

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