Let’s talk about Hugs.

About 2 years ago, my godmother, Rev Donna Smiley Young instructed that I researched on physical touch and its impact on marriage. She wanted me to write a book on it for her American audience/congregation. And since then, I have been learning everything I can from hugs; its impact on marriage. And I wish to share a little with you about what I have learned thus far with us.

I once catered to a friend’s dog. I have always loved dogs from less than 5years of age. And I had one then. I have had friends who owned cats. And one thing unique about these animals is how much they love cuddling, petting and stroking. Once you start, they would always come to you and be around you for more. Some folks stroke and pet their pets more than their partners.

Interestingly, this isn’t peculiar to dogs and cats. Other animals are known to love cuddling, stroking and petting a lot. However, if you own a dog or have ever been friends with one, you would have noticed that a dog would always come to lick up your toes the moment you come in from outside. Well, a dog breeder once mentioned to my hearing that once they do that, they can access and read your mood and emotions which would determine their response to you. So that lick tells them where you have been and what you have been through.

Many behavioral psychologists and other therapists have mentioned that a baby and women need about 8 – 14 hugs a day (thereabouts). But since we are all babies in adult bodies, what it means is that deep down inside all of us, we need more than 3 meaningful hugs every day. I mean, we need, not desire. It’s serious that many of us really need it but do not know it. I have counselled on sex for about 15years now, counselling freelance and also professional consulting, and I have noticed some things interesting about sexual behaviours and sexual responses. Hugs (and it’s cuddling form) seems to be more important and desired than intercourse. Remember we are still talking about Hugs. I am only laying a foundation for my building.

The seemingly most important parts of a sexual activity for many people are the physical touches before intercourse (foreplay) and the cuddling and embrace after coitus, during the refractory and resolution phase (afterplay). And this is because hugging causes us to release many of the hormones which are also released during sex.

People change, and they do this to adapt and survive. So don’t be surprised that your partner has changed and you have also changed. Associations, environments and the contents we expose ourselves to always make us change. We are humans, we are always metamorphosing, and as such, transformation is usually caused by the upgrade or downgrade of our spiritual realities, economic factors, social responsibilities and health state. We understand this perfectly at The Alright’s Passion, and help our clients and counsellees get to know themselves better to be able to adjust and adapt most appropriately and enjoy each other to the best possible height. Consequently, we offer some tests to help couples understand each other better in the present. Remember, old things have already passed away. So to understand the state of things and affairs in your marriage, now, we have:

  1. The Personality Discovery Test which helps you understand your personality better and that of your spouse in connection with today (and not the personality you knew before marriage),
  2. The Love Language Test (which helps you know which of your love language and that of your spouse that is most dominant now),
  3. The Marital Assessment Test (which helps you rate your marriage to know which area of the marriage to focus on and to ascertain the health of the togetherness and oneness of the marriage),
  4. The Sex Languages (which helps you know your sexual triggers, that of your spouse, how to better it, what to sexually focus on in your spouse and everything sex in marriage),
  5. The Birth Order Connection Discovery (which helps you understand how your birth number in your family has influenced how you relate with others).

The tests are all confidential, professional and private. So if you are interested in any of them to better your marriage and relationship, kindly contact us on Whatsapp 08125086798 or via email ealright@gmail.com