Your Bae, Your Sister.

I wish to share a small gist especially tailored for guys. My thought this morning is geared towards guys on how we treat babes. I mean women generally and I would love to narrow it down to bae and wifey.

“Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters.” -1 Timothy 5:2 NLT

The words italicized struck me again today. I have only one sister who has 7 brothers. From being a former last born to now that she is no more the last born, Diana still maintains the title and position of Odegua (in the midst of boys…) of the family. She has also grown to have the looks and shape of her mom (when she was her age) and automatically reminds us of our late mother. People sometimes wonder at her photo if it is her or my late mom. Not just that, I baby-sat her and still someway-somehow see her as my baby. In fact, I had to consciously tell myself for years that I wasn’t her father. And my siblings were already attacking me for “spoiling her” until I changed strategy to show her my love. So when I see babes outside, I see them through the eyes of Diana my sister.

I work with teens a lot. And you would agree that some of them are really shaped, intelligent, beautiful and have this innocence that kinda make them extra appealing and attractive to be with. In fact, their innocence makes them feel so safe that they jump on you, hug you, hold you and unknowingly cuddle you sef. However, for every time I see a girl, I get to see her through the eyes of my sister—Diana. Maybe Paul had this experience when he advised timothy to treat younger women as his sister.

“Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters.” -1 Timothy 5:2 NLT

Let me share some more things to help you get it.

When God made Adam and Eve, he was their ancestor. So if you asked Adam, “Adam, who is your dad?” He would have answered “God.” And if you had asked Eve the same question, the answer wouldn’t have been different. Having the same parents, they automatically were siblings cum lovers.

So how are you supposed to treat the babes in your life? Simple: as sisters.

Have you heard people say that “the way he treats his sisters is the way he would treat you?” Yes, because it is almost impossible (initially) for a man to treat you better than his dear sister. If he doesn’t respect and regard his sister, he won’t respect and regard bae because the issue isn’t his sister but women. The way he treats one woman is most likely the way he would treat other women.

The definition of his sister in his mind is the definition of women generally in his mind (unless in few exceptional cases). I can joke with my brothers but definitely not with my sister (even though she is skilled at troubling me). And the reason why she even does so is because she knows that she is safe with me. She knows that no matter what she does; I wouldn’t reject her. I would not hit her, although I yab her a lot and sometimes refuse her somethings. In fact, I believe that for the times she offends me, she does them knowing that Alright wouldn’t vex for long. And although I am 10 years older than her, she finds it safe to call me by my first name “Alright” always. I don’t think I have ever heard her call me “Bro Alright”. And she gives me instructions too which I sometimes adhere to for our love to remain.

Treating bae like her and making bae enjoy the rights and privileges she enjoys comes natural now. Well, you may have been treating your bae badly because you reason that she isn’t your wife or fiancee yet. But, guy, it is ignorance that is worrying you (I like the way I am speaking plenty Naija English today). Remember you ought to treat your woman better than your sister and mother.

Dude, the minimum treatment your bae deserves is the highest treatment you give to your sisters and mother. That is, the best and maximum love, respect, honour and regard that you give to your sisters and mother should be the least you give your woman.

Songs of Solomon is one of the most romantic books in history. It almost passes for M&B and even Hints, True Love and the others. You may even be tempted to call it pornography. Most preachers can’t get it so they try to avoid its reality and say that it is a fiction depicting the love and relationship Christ was to have with the Church. Well, I don’t agree. It was non-fiction. The people existed and the stories were true for they happened. However, let’s see how the dude referred to his bae in the book of Songs of Solomon using the King James Version (I decided to italicise what I want you to see):

“Thou hast ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse; thou hast ravished my heart with one of thine eyes, with one chain of thy neck.” -Song of Solomon 4:9.

“A garden inclosed is my sister, my spouse; a spring shut up, a fountain sealed.” -Song of Solomon 4:12

Now, from the above scriptures and some other verses in Chapter 5 of the said book of the Bible, we realize that it is proper to see bae as a sister. That way, you would see her as family, as a kin and treat her properly and accordingly. That way, you wouldn’t want to abuse her or take undue financial, sexual, or social advantage of her (unless you do same to your sisters). And for those who treat their mom and sisters well but their bae wrongly, it means that they have been brainwashed somewhere, somehow. Their mothers and sisters must have taught and raised them not to value or respect and regard babes outside. Some may have treated their husband and guys badly that the guy is suspecting his bae would treat him the way his sisters treat their man and the mother treats his father. It isn’t usual or normal for a guy to treat his sisters well but treat his bae wrongly. I could understand if he treats his mother well but treat the bae wrongly. And for that, I blame oxytocin.

So the bottom line of my gist today, dude, is that the least treatment you ought to give your babe is the best treatment you give to your sisters and mothers. Obviously, if you don’t see anything wrong with why you should be home all day and expect your sister who went to school or extra morals to still come home to prepare dinner, sweep the house and wash your clothes, then you would obviously not see anything wrong with your wife doing the same; all the chores in marriage. If your younger sister can’t successfully argue with you and win, then bae can never so, too. It isn’t prophecy of doom; it is simply 1+1=2.

Maybe in other to help our men treat their babes and wives better, we need to start from the very foundation; teaching them to respect and honour and regard their sisters.

“Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters.” -1 Timothy 5:2 NLT

 

My name is Earl, and I am Alright

God bless Nigeria (good people, great nation)

You guys rock!

Photo Credit: Charity Baaji

See:

Your kids, Spouse, Parents and Siblings; Who should Come First.

Women Can Cure Men