TO SHAVE OR NOT TO SHAVE

I want to talk about something someone must have talked with you about before. It is most likely a topic that you and your friends have talked about, perhaps, a lot. Well, I don’t think it is out of place if I still say a little more on it. I call this TO SHAVE OR NOT TO SHAVE and it’s all about your beards. Yeah; all the three different kind of “beards” we have. And this also covers the beards on your chest, stomach, legs and arms.

So let’s rock and roll.

I grew up to realize that my dad kept beards. There is a big difference between growing a beard and keeping a beard. He kept beards. They were all so black and shining and full on his face that there was no need imagining how mom kissed him if they ever did. It was nasty to try to think that some facial hair mingled with saliva and glued themselves to the tongue as they kissed. Interestingly today, I have some beards on my face and it doesn’t get involved in my kissing. Hahaha.

We were teased and dad was, too; in every social, professional and religious circle, my old man was referred to as Jesus Christ. So when I started keeping beards as a teenager, some referred to me as “like father, like son.” I was just not comfortable with shaving every time. I just didn’t like the feel of clippers on my facial skin. I preferred to have beards than have one machine making the zooooom sound on my face every now and then. Maybe dad was like me too; he hated bumps just like every other guy out there. The scratching is something I still don’t want to cope with till date. Oh, I know about after-shaves and shaving powders, but doesn’t that add to the discomfort that the clippers already give?

let’s talk about trends

Trends come and go just like the seasons. Today, every young man is growing and keeping a beard. It’s seems to be fashionable this 2016. It’s such a pity that I have lived for several years with this fashion before you got to know about it. hahaha. I like when fashion comes around and starts doing what it left me doing. Fashion is like emotions; fickle, unstable, coming and going these several seasons as though it were J.P Clark’s “Abiku”.

However, my focus isn’t the beard on your face. It’s about the beard on your chest and tummy, the beard on your pubic region and the one under your arms. Well, it may still cover the ones on your legs and hands too (dear sister).

I remember as a teenager when a far older cousin rebuked me for growing under-arm hair. She said it was dirty. I tilted my head under to find dirt, but I can’t remember seeing one. Well, she just felt it was “dirty” for a person to have an under arm growth. Many people feel the same about pubic hairs and other body hairs. I just want to let you know that their reasons are not religious, “social”, biological, medicinal or psychological. It’s just a socio-cultural fashion trend.

Some few years ago, many ladies felt that men who grew beards were dirty, but now, in 2016, the same ladies want you to grow one. So this whole idea of whether an under-arm hair or pubic hair or body hair is dirty or not has to do with culture and trends and not necessarily what’s right or wrong.

Did you know that there are nations where they specially have creams to grow under-arms hair? Well, westerners used to think that having hair in your armpit was dirty, but now, we are having celebrities who aren’t only growing the hair but are now dyeing it into different colours and trimming it to different shapes and styles.

To have or not to have

Let’s take the pubic hair as a case study. Does its presence better sex? It all depends on who is answering the question. Does its absence better the perception of one’s partner of the person and better sex? Well, it still depends on who is answering.

Some choose not to shave it. Some choose to shave it clean and others choose to just trim it (because they can’t accept the pricking it gives when it starts growing again. To defeat that, just have at least, a particular day of the week when you always shave – clean).

Do not forget that this at the Alright’s Passion and we help young people with sex and relationship issues through diverse means while ensuring that our counselling is true and accurate to the Bible, balanced and culturally relevant.

We have cases in which wives have sued their husbands for shaving their pubic hair during their sleeps. I don’t just mean foreign cases, I also mean Nigerian ones. In fact, it is common place in court for petitioners to complain that their spouse is dirty for keeping pubic hair.

So how does this affect your sexuality? Should you shave or not shave?

Well, let’s see all the sides to it.

First, do what’s okay and convenient for you.

If you are okay with shaving, shave. If you are okay with trimming, trim. If you are okay with having an afro there, it’s still your choice. However, there is something you have to realize about your decision.

If your spouse is someone that sees body hair as dirty, be sure that your partner would resent your body and find your nakedness irritating. He or she may never find it comfortable and pleasurable to have sex with the lights on/during the day and may also not find it appealing to give you oral sex or lick-up poured milk mixed with honey on your body. I understand the thoughts of such partners; they think there is dirt lurking in the hair. And this thought is justified. So if you choose to keep body hair, then, be deliberate in making them clean and committing extra efforts in washing those parts of the body thoroughly. However, your sexuality is for your spouse’s enjoyment too. If he or she doesn’t like your pubic hair, remove it.

Don’t get me wrong

Remember I haven’t said it’s wrong or not wrong to keep body hair. Let me tell you some private gist I have had with some counsellees over the years. Some people actually love body hair on your legs, hands and chest, although I am yet to meet a person one-on-one who has expressed attraction and admiration for the hair in the armpit. However, many entertainment celebrities are beginning to grow some.

Body hair is very appealing to persons who are “touchers”; persons who like touching. In fact, in mutual masturbation (hand job, fingering), some persons find touching the pubic hair very interesting most especially if it is at night. Well, during oral sex, I am yet to meet a person who finds the tongue touching the pubic hair funny and interesting but I do know people who don’t mind if there is hair there or not during oral sex. Some counsellees have also mentioned that being touched by the body hair of a partner at night, while lying side by side to each other, is tickling.

Follow me closely

Yeah, I know I am talking for sex today and not really against sex. Well, I can’t ever remember talking against sex. I only talk against wrong sex (sexual activities with a person who isn’t your spouse). So, even if you aren’t married and reading this, I am not telling you that it’s okay to have oral sex or mutual masturbation or sexting or telephone sex with a person who isn’t your spouse. Get that straight. I believe and teach that sexual activities outside marriage are wrong and sin.

The gains, the loses.

If you choose to shave, there is a sexual benefit. If you choose not to shave, there is also a sexual benefit. It all depends on what kind of sexual benefit you want and desire. While pubic hair would most likely give pleasure during mutual masturbation, it would definitely be a turn-off during oral sex and give a cut to the vagina and even bruise the penis during some sex-styles. But this is the balance:

Never forget that your sexuality is for the benefit and pleasure of your spouse too. So if your spouse has an issue with your body hair, remove it. If your spouse wants the body hair, don’t remove it. Don’t make your decision of to shave or not to shave based on media trends. Trends are like feelings; they are fickle, they change all the time. Today, under-arms growth, just like facial beards is trending. You never can tell; pubic hair and other body hair may become trendy in 2018. The thing you criticize today may be the same thing you will spend several Naira on just to “belong” and be trending in 2020.

Let’s wrap it up here.

There must be a positive reason why we grow body and pubic hairs. The help trap pheromones and also block some gems and the likes from infecting us. Not just that, they play a role in balancing the body temperature around there. God and nature couldn’t have been so dumb to make those hair start growing the moment our hormones started waking-up. There are positive purposes of having pubic hairs.

So to shave or not to shave, if single, it depends on what you are okay and comfortable with, and if married, it depends on what your spouse wants (which doesn’t jeopardize your health). Shikena.

Don’t forget that it’s your relationship with Jesus that makes your sex and romantic life sweet.

God bless Nigeria (good people, great nation).

Once again, my name is Earl, and I am Alright.

You rock!

You can fix a counselling appointment with me at www.tinyurl.com/FixAppointment

You can also come on my whatsapp at www.tinyurl.com/ChatEarlAlright