Romance is doing and saying what makes your significant other feel loved, cherished and accepted unconditionally. Healthy, sweet, balanced and Godly romance doesn’t just happen by chance or by luck. I am blessed to be in a great relationship with one kwasi, with of course, my wedding dreams and date in view.

I have had two failed would-have-been-great relationships in my past; one as a teen and young adult, and the other in my early 20s. Truth is, I was whack and the relationships ended. At first, I thought the babes were the ones that had the issues, but on a second and third look, yours sincerely wasn’t good enough for them.

Yours sincerely wasn’t good enough in particularly defining what he wanted and needed in and from a woman so there was no expectation or goal for the ladies to meet. Let me also mention that two babes also said NO. Hahaha. Wonderful experiences. Beautiful experiences.

So today on #SheIsHot hosted by my friend and co-counsellor of the #AlrightsPassion, @ifeadeagbo, I want to share on WHAT MAKES HER HOT?

I was fairly popular on campus; Ambrose Ali University, Ekpoma, The Nigeria Law School, Enugu Campus (Agbani), National Youth Service Corp, Makurdi, Benue State and in the local churches and communities where I have lived. So choosing a great babe wasn’t easy for me at first. I had to tell myself that it was scripturally easy to have a great babe and in the Bible, nobody went through stress in trying to get a wife, not even Jacob because he willingly choose seven years labour without par as bride price.

There were too many great options and I had the only option of choosing one, one hot babe out of all of them. Huh! Yes nau, it is one man, one wife. Chai. And that ONE seemed too demanding to choose.

I am in a relationship now with one Tiv girl and I am not the only one that thinks my fiancée is hot, my family and friends agree too. They all agree that she’s far, far better than all the other options I had and have. Why? Because she is hot in mind, looks and character.

Before I continue on why #SheIsHot, thanks to my fwend Mrs. Ifeoluwa Adeoti-Adeagbo for having me here. This woman rocks. She happens to be the first female friend I introduced my babe to and we’ve worked together on many projects a lot. Ife (as I most comfortable call her) and I have worked together as co-teens facilitators at the Global Harvest Church, Outer Ring Road Branch in the past. She has hosted me twice on her show on New Frontier TV and she is also a regular coach on the Alright’s Passion Secondary School Outreach; ME, SEX, and LIFE. I am also so blessed to be a friend to her husband, son and siblings.

Generally, when we say a person is hot, we are making reference to their body shape, their looks and choice of clothing. However, today, I am talking about being hot inside and outside. The content is usually hotter than the pot carrying it.

Before I chose Seember as the woman I want to marry, I took out time to discover what I want(ed) in and from a woman. And for me, that ONE, that woman, ought to be so awesome in person and looks to win my approval and that of family and friends. It took me a while to discover what I want to share with you today and I suffered two rejections because of it. However, it was well worth it.

Yes, l love dark complexioned (black) girls with long hair and some particular “vital statistics” which my babe has. I have only one option, one choice to make, so she needs to have all the personality and looks to ALWAYS “turn me on”. I didn’t want a babe that I could love her soul but manage her body, or the other way round. Nah, not this me. Today, my babe is “no dulling”. Asking her to marry me is a great good done to myself, purpose and future.

As a sex and relationship counsellor, I personally dislike long lists of WHAT I WANT IN A SPOUSE. I believe most people desiring marriage are still single because of the long “unmeetable” list s/he as to match up to. So in making my list, I ensured I had very few things I could easily remember even when soliloquizing. It took me about 3year to put up a WHAT I WANT IN A WOMAN list which contains only four things! I drew up the list by praying, reading, observing and meeting people. Today, people are copying my list of just four things for themselves. Hahaha. I will list the four things here while telling you why She Is Hot, hotter than all the other hot and great babes around me.


A Partner

I started counseling teens on sex and relationship at age 16. Co- Organized my first programme at age 17 and started the Alright’s Passion at 20. Over the years, I have met ladies who have concluded never to marry a “pastor” and I am one. I know many ladies who can’t just allow other ladies get your attention even at work and I am a counsellor with many female counselees and clients.

These kinds of babes mentioned above are overly jealous, sensitive, emotionally dependent and unbalanced. I didn’t want that type of a woman. So I needed a babe who would understand and support my call and career even if she wasn’t in the front line. The moment I knew a lady wasn’t interested in my counselling ministry, in that same moment, my attraction started dying.

I resigned from my former employment and with my friends started Graceville Chambers at age 25 where I presently work as a Solicitor and Advocate. There are many challenges in starting up a professional practice and partnership; money is a sensitive matter. However, although money is one of the biggest destroyers of partnerships, wives of partners play the biggest role. So I didn’t want a woman who will dislike my law firm and would always feel that I was being cheated in the partnership.

So, I wanted a partner in ministry, career and life!

2. A Wife

I wanted a wife; a romantic, physically, sexually, very attractive woman. Her hair mattered, her skin colour too. So also her (vital) statistics. I don’t want to lust on other women when married. I don’t want to struggle in getting turned on by my woman’s looks. I want to be proud to flaunt and show her to people. I like wife show-offs a lot!

I didn’t want a babe who isn’t romantic with her words and messages or one who has a poor orientation about sex. Hey, I am 100% against premarital sex. NOTE THAT sexual experience is different from sexual orientation. They are two different, distinct things. So it’s not that I was going around looking for a virgin or a lady who was sexually active. I just didn’t want a woman who believed that sex is only for making babies or it should be once a month or once in 6 months thing. Nah, Nah. I live to fulfill Proverbs 5:15-20 more than once a week!

I wanted a woman who sees her husband (me) as more important than our kids, pastor and in-laws. Not that she would be treating my mom and siblings better than she treats me and respect her boss and pastor more than she respects and submits to me. I wanted Osemen (my own); a woman who is good looking, romantic, devoted and loyal. I wanted a woman who is submissive to God through me, proud of me, regards and honours me. Am I sounding self-centered? Nah. Remember I have only one option for life, and wifey is a personal thing, a personal matter.

I just wanted a woman who would allow me be a leader, provider, protector and priest over her and the family.

3. A Mother

I want(ed) a mother; like my moms; Bodicia and Dorcas who love kids, and are open to extended family members and friends. I didn’t want a person who is so career driven that she forgets her husband and kids, not me! I don’t want a woman who will make my home hell for in-laws and friends. I believe her relationship with kids, her family and friends as a single lady determines how she would also relate with my family and partners and friends, and ours joint family and friends when we get married.

I just want(ed) a great mother for my kids and a big sister-in-law to my six younger siblings of which I am the oldest. Maybe I am self-centered. Just maybe. But am I?

And lastly on my list, I want(ed) —

4. A Lover of God

Everybody wants a God-fearing guy or babe, right? Uhm, yes for me too, but mine is particularly a woman who loves God more that she loves or could ever love me. I believe it is your relationship with God that determines how sweet your relationship with me will be. I just can’t imagine having a woman displease God in order to please me. Is she “high”? Why make me your God?

I want a woman who would rather follow God for her marriage than Hollywood, Bollywood, Philippine wood, Telemundo wood and all other etc woods.

These were/are the four things on my list; a partner, a wife, a mother and a lover of God. These are the things I saw and continuously see in my Benue babe that is making me marry her in the nearest now. Terrible English, right? Hahaha.

This is why #SheIsHot and not necessarily her academic qualifications, tribe or economic financial status.

To tell you the truth ehn, when I drew up this list, she wasn’t the only one that qualified. In fact, a person with these qualities told me NO. I obviously didn’t match her own list of what she wanted in a man. I have never believed in the “only one person was specifically designed to marry you” thing. I have always believed that God can’t ever be limited to only one option or limit me to one either; besides, I’ve got freewill choice. See Eccl 7:27-29 NLT.

She Is Hot to me but may not be hot to you; God is just fulfilling the desires of my own heart; giving me what I want. However, that desire is based on His ground rules for love and marriage. If I have a desire, I believe He gives it to me (Phil 2:13).

My simple definition of a hot babe is

The Judges 4, Proverbs 31; 5:15-20 and Songs of Solomon women all combined into ONE package!

I have to go now. My name is Earl, and I am Alright, the president of The Alright’s Passion and a Lawyer with Graceville Chambers, Ibadan office. I tweet on sex and relationship issues every Tuesday, 6pm WAT with hashtag #AlrightsPassion on twitter and facebook. You may want to follow me.

My job is to help young people master their sexuality and I minister Sexual Healing through Spoken Words. Feel free to chat my up on WhatsApp or Telegram with 08125086798 or like http://www.fb.me/alrightspassion or earlalright@gmail.com .

Don’t forget that —

It’s your relationship with Jesus that makes your romantic relationship sweet.

I pray for you needing direction and wisdom to make that marital choice; May my God lead and guide you. May God give you all the wisdom and directions you need. May He be your counsellor, your coach. May my God give you all the grace you need for that relationship and marriage. May He strengthen and empower you. I pray that you will be able to enjoy God’s love in your soul and feel it tangibly all over your body in Jesus name.

For you wanting to break out from that wrong, ungodly relationship, receive strength, grace and wisdom in Jesus name. For you thinking of whether to say YES or NO to which particular dude, I pray that my God whispers the answer to your soul tonight. For you thinking whether to ask her out or not, receive direction, receive boldness and grace for the task in Jesus name.

Do you wish to be Born-Again?

Please pray:

Jesus I accept I am a sinner and confess you as my Lord and Saviour today. Welcome home to God’s family.

Did you say that prayer?

If yes, contact @ifeadeagbo or me with the details already given earlier on.

You Rock!